Holy Vocation

There is a funny thing I've noticed when I talk to people about my career choice.  When I talk about being an engineer people have all kinds of questions about roads and bridges.  They have a curiosity about how projects get done and what I am doing to fix the problems with roads that they use regularly.  People are intrigued by my engineering and even passionate about roads.  It seems everyone is a traffic engineer giving me advice on how to fix roads and signals.

But when I tell people I'm leaving behind engineering for ministry, currently attending seminary, they get quiet and serious.  Their demeanor changes.  They tip-toe around their speech; hide their beer behind the napkin dispenser; apologize for saying, 'shucks.'  It's not that they disagree with my views (though they probably would if we started talking more); but it is like they somehow feel that suddenly they are in holy company and they should remove their sandals and only speak in reverent tones.

But why should this be different for any believer?  We are a priesthood of believers; everywhere we go we are ambassadors for Christ.  Everything we do represents God in us.  Whether we are computer programmers, pastors, engineers, homemakers, or street hot-dog vendors, we have the amazing privilege to bring that holy passion for God to whatever career venture we choose.  People should see our work no matter where we are as a high calling; something we take seriously and do with joy and excellence.

So enlivened by the importance of this task is a friend from seminary who determined he was going to drop out of his pastoral pursuits and get a job as a marketing manager in downtown Minneapolis.  He is one of the brightest guys in our cohort with incredible maturity and he decided he could better glorify God by mingling with the downtown professionals at an entry level professional career position.  While I am saddened that our class is losing such a bright mind, I am thrilled about a guy who really wants the light of Christ to shine in a normal office job.  He has a holy ambition to make Christ known even in a cubicle.

Just a couple weeks after I heard this news from my friend an elder at church preached on the high calling of the work of every believer.  It was both encouraging and convicting.  Not-working is dehumanizing.  We were made to reflect God's work in creation by being at work with creative joy ourselves.  We are to provide for our families with contentment as God provides for us.

During the last year of my struggling to know what I am doing here I often wanted to quit my job so I could devote more time to studying, get more involved in ministry, and spend more time with my wife and kids.  I thought that my job was a hindrance to what was more important and prayed regularly for God to provide some other means of provision so I wouldn't have to work. But I have been convicted that the job keeps me connected to God in a more personal and satisfying way.  I get the pleasure of representing Christ to people in downtown Minneapolis.  I get the honor of showing what excellent work looks like from someone with a heavenly perspective.  I get to taste the goodness of providing with my hands and my mind for my family.

One thing from the sermon that really caught my attention applied to our motivation for hard work.  The world works hard to earn something; a raise, a promotion, a paycheck to buy more things.  It is a merit system in which we tie up our identities.  Who we are becomes defined by our position, our income, and our toys.  Or, the job is simply a necessary evil means to something else more enjoyable.  For me, it was just the thing that provided me the opportunity to do what I preferred to do, being in a classroom and reading books.

But work should be different for the believer.  We don't work dutifully for approval or personal gain, but we work diligently from approval and gain.  Everything we need was earned for us in Christ.  God will provide for us everything that is necessary for contentment in Him.  From there we can put in hard work during the day and find great peace and satisfaction in the work because we aren't doing it to gain anything but to simply reflect what has already been gained for us.

My eyes are continually being opened to the blessing which is my current engineering job.  God ordained it as a means of abundant provision for my family, but it has also taught me more about continuing to be in the world and savoring the opportunity to image his diligent, creative activity in the world.  He has given me a platform to share the gospel to people this country boy would have never had access to.  God forgive me when I complain about the high calling of cubicle work and give me a holy ambition to shine your creative light on the streets of downtown Minneapolis.

Immaturity of Sin

Delayed Gratification is a term that I've often been fond of to discern someone's level of maturity.  We live in a culture that needs everything right now.  Don't want to wait until married to have sex, do it now.  Don't have money to pay for what I want, put it on the credit card.  Can't take the time to cook a healthy meal, get fast food.  Children, by definition, lacking maturity have a difficult time waiting because they don't have enough life experience in waiting to know that "good things come to those who wait."  They don't know that opportunities come and go regularly and by taking time to do things right they will be better prepared for the next opportunity.  Instead, in our immature passions we jump now at something and, at best, enjoy a fleeting pleasure that could have been longer lasting had we invested more patient preparation.

I was recently reminded of another stage of maturity in a child's life through reading a book on marriage and it has really got me thinking about my continual need for sanctification.  In the first few months of a baby's life their world extends to about 12 inches in front of their faces.  As far as they understand this world is all about themselves.  When what is going on in their own bubble is uncomfortable they let everyone outside the bubble know about it until someone else comes to fix it.  If you put a toy in front of an infant they will recognize its existence.  But the moment they can no longer see that toy they act as though it no longer exists.  This is called Object Permanence; at about the age of eight months a child gains the ability to recognize that an object continues to exists even though they can no longer see it.  A child who has yet to develop Object Permanence will have a difficult time being away from his parents when they walk away because the person that makes him feel so good (in his own mind) no longer exists.  Once the child develops Object Permanence he can feel comfortable letting his parents go because he knows they still exist and experience has shown that they will come back.

Today I was reminded of an excellent book in which the author talks about the immaturity of sin as she looks back upon the sins she once defended:

“People whose lives are riddled with unrestrained sin act like rebellious children. Sin, when unrestrained, infantilizes a person. Here I had thought that I was so mature, so capable, so ‘important’ in the world, and the truth remains that I didn’t even know how to act my age! After conversion, I was surprised to discover how old I really was.”

-Rosaria Champagne Butterfield, The Secret Thoughts of and Unlikely Convert, p. 108

This is the case for all of us, isn't it?  When we engage in sin, when we give into temptation, when we "follow our hearts" we act as a a child who is incapable of making decisions according to the reality of the world God created.  Though our eyes are wide open we act as though truth has disappeared.  When men are tempted to look at pornography it is because they have lost Object Permanence; forgetting about God's provision for intimacy.  When we lie, complain, or boast in ourselves it is because we have lost Object Permanence; forgetting that God is still there even though we don't see Him.  What we need are not strategies for sidestepping the temptation, but mature hearts who are content to trust God's good provision when the current circumstances disrupt the comfort of our little bubbles.

"Sin infantilizes a person." God help me avoid sin and honor you by maturing my heart to be satisfied with your provision whenever you choose to give it and rest in the permanence of it even when I can't see it.

Providence

prov·i·dence

 [prov-i-duhns]

noun

1. the foreseeing care and guidance of God or nature over the creatures of the earth.
2. God, especially when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence.

The longer we are here, the harder it will be convincing me that God is not in control of everything, even the desires of people.  It's not because I am immersed in a school that is solid on the sovereignty of God (I am), but because I have never experienced God's hand of provision so personally before.

The first year of seminary has been a wild ride already; as is evidenced by my lack of posting since last fall.  Being a good husband and father is a lot of work apart from trying to be a civil engineer and full-time masters student at the same time.  On top of all that, our housing situation wasn't exactly what many would call easy living.  We shared that house with two other small families, which certainly created many opportunities for sanctification.  It was a crazy year and I can now begin to see how God was using it for our good.

• Living so close with others revealed weaknesses in us for the Spirit to overcome.
• Our marriage became more of a priority than it was before we moved.
• I learned how old houses are constructed and got many opportunities to use my hands to build a better home.
• We were strategically located to serve a few travelers and wanderers with our home.
• We learned how to deal with conflict and work toward resolving it without running or hiding.
• I was given multiple opportunities to speak with hurting souls on my bus rides.

The year was a roller coaster ride of trying to find our identity.  It didn't take long to realize that all the other guys here were the passionate Bible teacher guys at their previous churches.  But here it is not as clear what makes each of us unique.  It took a long time to settle back into my identity as a child of God, a husband to Molly, and daddy to three adorable kids.  I tried to be preacher guy for a bit (that didn't work).  I tried to be everybody's best friend (that was exhausting).  I tried to be networking guy (I forgot I'm an introvert).  But now I am beginning to develop a vision for what God is doing with us here.

Classes have been amazing.  Two hours of classes with the godliest men I've ever known and complete freedom to ask questions.  Our instructors are so kind, gentle, humble, confident, and passionate about what they teach.  In the same class they make you frustrated about how much you don't know yet, but also build excitement to want to gain that knowledge.  They don't just leave you with encyclopedic knowledge but wrestle and weep with you as you learn struggling to know how to apply it to real people.  It was a humbling, challenging, and exciting experience.  I'm very satisfied with my first year grades; I even ended up with a couple A-minuses.  I'm glad the first year is over and am excited for year two to start on Monday (summer Hebrew).

What has really gotten me marveling over God's sovereignty is our search for a new house.  After an identity solidifying winter vacation we determined it would be best for us to find a new home for our family.  There was a house we wanted to rent last summer, but with our previous house not selling, we weren't sure at the time if we could afford it.  We loved the place and loved the neighborhood; and have since found out that some of our best new friends live only a couple of blocks away.  It is a small place with a fenced in back yard.  It's a duplex that is split with the home owners.  We would be close to the bus line in a fantastic community and could even have a garden in the back yard.  How cool would it be if that place were available for us?

So we sent an email to ask...

After a long break the landlords told us it is currently rented, but may be available.  They had to ask the current tenants.  So we prayed that God would move people's hearts so they would want to move out and we could move in.  And then we waited.

A few weeks again went by when finally we heard back: one of the three tenants was staying, but they were going to need to reapply.  They told us to just look for another place to live, but would let us know in a couple months if it opened up.  Ugh, more waiting.  Curious, I asked what the chances are that the tenants would be moving out.  The landlord told us not to expect anything.

We found another place to live, but it just didn't seem to fit right.  It was a beautiful place, but it was quite isolated from the people we wanted to get to know.  It was also far from any regular transit route for me to get to work and school.  With it as our only real option, we applied, pretty confident we'd be moving.

Surprisingly, we were rejected.  I've gotten quite familiar with rejection, but this time didn't have any of the same feelings I've had with prior rejections.  In fact, I felt a bit relieved.  Honestly, I felt that God was really leading us to this other house.  We had created a list of things important in a home for our family: conducive to growing our marriage; children secure in family identity; allow us to build deep friendships; create opportunities for interact with neighbors; separate quiet space for devotions and studies; a back yard for a garden; and on a bus route.  The place we desired met all of those, the place we applied for met half.  But we still didn't have any viable options.

Until we got a phone call again from our preferred landlords: they were thinking of buying a new house for their family and renting out their portion of the duplex.  They would let us know how the process went and maybe have their place available some time early in the fall.  That was both encouraging and frustrating at the same time.  The place we wanted would be available a couple months after we needed to be out.  We needed to keep praying that God would be sovereign over the decisions of men.

A few more weeks went by without any new direction but we did find another place. It was a beautiful old place that was recently remodeled after the tornado went through Minneapolis a few years ago.  It had a nice back yard for gardening and completely fenced in so the kids could play.  Unfortunately it was far from the people we wanted to get to know better.  It was also in a part of Minneapolis that people generally try to steer you away from. Without any word on the availability of the preferred option and time running out on our current lease, we decided to make this place our home.  We negotiated a price that worked for us and waited to sign the lease.

Then we got another phone call...

The day we were intending on signing a lease our favored landlords called back.  They were putting an offer in on another house and would be moving in time for us to move in.  They would really like if we would sign with them.  Aaahh!!  What a ride.  What a dilemma.  We were just about to sign a lease, was it okay to back out?  Nothing was legal yet, but it still felt like going back on our word.  But the place we were certain God would provide for us was available for us.  And we sort of backed out on them last summer too.  Could we back out on them again?

We took the weekend to pray about it and decided that God did too much changing of hearts and minds for us to say 'no' to what we had been praying for.  We are moving into the house that we knew right up front that the only way it could happen was if God showed himself to be sovereign even over the decisions of men.  God will not let me ever think that something is in control of even a single atomic particle or neurological impulse other than Him.

We think things like deciding on which home to live in or who our neighbors will be us up to our own decisions and the decisions of those people, but in some powerfully mysterious way.  God is in control.  And the most humbling thing about it is He exercises His sovereignty over the hearts of people for the good of His own children; for the good of me and my family.

Providence - "And we know that for those who love God, [He works] all things...together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

The Wheels on the Bus

No deep thoughts today; even though my mind has been flooded with thoughts over the last week.  Life has been such a mess during this transition that I haven't had time to just sit, think, and write.  As a guy who loves to take pictures and has a lot in front of me to photograph, I haven't even picked up my camera in a few weeks.  I turned it on just a couple of days ago to see what the last thing I shot was; I laughed and cried when I saw the picture of us pulling out of our driveway in the U-Haul truck.  So began our adventure.

Since arriving here, I've decided to become a public transporatation guy.  Never before had I ridden a bus
or a train; it just never fit into my schedule and location.  I hadn't a clue how to ride a bus and was afraid I'd be the freightened little boy huddled in the corner looking like such a country boy in the big city.

I spent hours online learning how to ride a bus and walked to the Metro Transit store to get maps and instructions.  Then I figured I just had to dive in and try it out.  I made it home alive, but not without a few hiccups.  I got onto my bus a bit too early (it wasn't in service yet), and the driver was a little annoyed that I interrupted his reading time to let me on the bus.  When we finally got moving, I caught a glimpse of a friend I hadn't seen in a long time waiting at one of the stops.  I really wanted to hop off the bus to say hi and catch up for a bit, but I was so nervous the driver wouldn't let me back on and I didn't have enough money to pay for another ride; so I stared at my friend through the window as the bus sat there and slowly pulled away.

But now I'm becoming a public transportation veteran.  I've ridden the light rail, the commuter train, and the bus (I'm still scared of taxis).  I got myself a transit card so I don't need to worry about having the right amount of cash on hand.  The entire trip from near my home to work is about 40 minutes long, so I get a lot of reading assignments done in my 80 minutes of bus riding.  I'm learning different parts of the city by taking a different route through town.

Best of all, I'm getting to know a lot of new people.  The bus travels through every part of town: middle and lower class residential neighborhoods, commercial and industrial districts, university campuses, near medical facilities, and right into the downtown professional areas.  I see every kind of person on the bus and have had great opportunities to hear stories of people who are nothing like me.  It is already softening my heart even more toward people.  Not only do I have a lot of time to read, but to think about and pray for the people God puts into my life for the 40 minutes every morning and afternoon.

Pray that God uses me to bless the souls of my fellow bus riders with the Good News of His Sovereign love.

Rain fell, Floods came, and Winds Blew and Beat on That House

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” (Matthew 7:24-27, ESV)

Well, here we are in the Twin Cities.  I started my new job in Minneapolis at the end of July in order to get the transition started sooner than later to avoid piling it all up at once.  We finally got an offer on our house so we decided after a couple weeks of being apart that we should move the family up as well on the first weekend of August.  This would give the family some time to establish a routine before school started.  It seemed like a good plan.

Did I say I had a good plan?  Those never seem to work out.

We planned to do all of our moving in one day.  Molly had spent a couple of weeks packing and labeling the boxes to make it easier for our moving help to get our things where they belonged.  We ordered a large U-Haul truck and had a big group of people ready to help us fill it up.  After catching our breaths, we planned to drive and hour and a half to the Cities and meet another crew awaiting us to help unload.  We certainly wouldn't get settled into the home in one day, but we hoped to have all the boxes where they belonged and get the furniture set up by evening.  It was such a good plan.

Just to be sure, I contacted our landlord to make sure everything would be ready for us.  We were told it would be ready except for a bathroom remodel being done.  "We can handle that" we thought.  We wanted to be together and we could put up with some bathroom work since we were going to end up with a nicer bathroom.

So we set about our way to have our plans more than slightly modified.

Molly had a dream the night before our move that during the move we were going to lose all of our things.  She was a bit worried that something bad was going to happen, but I assured her that we'd done a lot to prepare for this and everything would work out just fine.  I told her that I had a dream that we moved in and the place was completely remodeled and was the most gorgeous place we'd ever lived in (I didn't really expect that.  It was just to say how silly dreams can be).

The day started off with the U-Haul guy telling us they didn't have the size of truck we ordered so they would upgrade us for free to the largest truck he had; six feet longer than what I calculated was necessary.  "Oh well" I thought.  "We'll just have some extra space."

It turns out that God was taking care of us in my ignorance, because that truck was extremely efficiently organized and we still didn't have enough room for all of our things.  It was a bit embarassing how much stuff we had accumulated in only 6 years in that house.  But we were appreciative to all the help we had for their hard work.  We were still right on time and ready to head up to our new home.

The drive went well; nothing was damaged on the trip so I knew Molly's dream was wrong.  We pulled up to our new home, called our move-in help and took a deep breath to prepare for just a couple more hours of hard work before getting some good rest.

And "the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that [family]."

Walking up to the front door, my heart sank, my eyes welled up in tears, and I feared for my family.  The front yard was full of furniture from the previous tenants.  The entire house was under construction and didn't look like it would be ready for many days.  There was construction equipment in every single room; tools, materials, waste, and a crew for multiple projects; not just a bathroom.  Every sort of uncleanness decorated the house from the previous tenants' failure to learn the use of a vacuum or a wash cloth; dirt all over the floors, mouse droppings in every corner, stains all over the carpets, moldy food filling the refrigerator and cabinets, and a couple years of grease covering the kitchen counters, floors, and stove.  Because of the mess, there seemed to be quite the attraction for small rodents to the home.

I had walked in before Molly and the kids could make it up to the door.  My mind swirled with all of the assurances I made to her that it would be alright and the doubts we'd had about leaving our comfortable small-town home behind to move to the big city and live on very little.  I felt like I was punched in the gut and laughed at for being such a failure of a provider for my family.

We briefly looked around the house and determined that it would be impossible for the family to move in for a while.  And then I looked at our moving truck out front staring me in the face as I wondered what to do with everything we owned.  I quickly determined to get the family out of there, so I sent my wife and the kids away to her sister's house until I could straighten it all out; not having a clue how many days that might take.

If we hadn't already made a committment to some other friends we would have backed out of this living arrangement and found a new place to live.  I talked to the landlord who didn't seem to understand why I was so upset.  He told his maintenance folks to remodel the bathroom and get the house clean for our arrival.  He put me in contact with the project manager to work something out temporarily.

The move-in crew arrived as I sat on the front steps in complete shock.  Not knowing what to do.  Should I stay in a hotel room?  Put the truck in storage for a week?  I couldn't afford that.  Plus, we needed things that were in the truck.  It's hard to take care of three small children without their clothes, diapers, beds, soaps, etc.

I decided to head into the house and clear some space in a few of the rooms that had the least amount of work to be done.  We would ignore the work Molly did organizing and labeling every box and shove everything into these few rooms.  We'll let the crew finish their work and be back next weekend to try moving in again.  So for the next three hours, my newest best friends and I hauled in and stacked everything we owned into the mess; spending every moment at the edge of sobbing uncontrollably.

As we unloaded the truck into the front yard and into the house, people would walk by or drive up eyeballing our items and asking if they could take them.  I couldn't understand why so many people were circling our things like vultures.  My heart sank as I feared that I moved us into a neighborhood where people would be waiting for the opportunity to take whatever we took our eyes off of.  Molly's dream was coming true; we really were going to lose everything.

We finally finished unloading the truck.  I was so tired (as I planned to be at the end of the day), but there would be no rest as I had hoped.  I contacted the crew manager and pleaded with him to leave my things alone and actually protect them for my family.  "Please lock every door and close every shade to keep those vultures away from everything I own."  

His response sent me into despair, "We don't have a key.  We've just been leaving the back door unlocked to get in every day to work."

I left the house and all that I owned in that house pleading with him to figure out a way to lock the door.  My friends offered to take me in for the night.  We took the truck back to the store, I climbed into his care, and sobbed.  On the drive to somewhere restful, my new friends sat in silence for a while and then offered to take this 30 minute drive to pray for peace in the midst of chaos, for wisdom to know what to do next, for faith to trust that God will use this for good, and to avoid bitterness resulting from seeming injustice.

This was not  how it was supposed to go.  Why am I moving my family here?  What am I putting them through?  What is God's purpose in all of this?

These questions will take a while to get answered.

I managed to get to my family and stay with my sister-in-law for the week.  We talked to our landlord who was very apologetic about the entire thing.  There was some serious miscommunication which resulted in the entire event.  He offered to do everything possible to remedy the situation and to even go beyond that to make our new home a much better place to stay for the next few years.

For some reason, God decided to let Satan pour out some tribulation on our family that day.  Two weeks later, we still do not have the house to where we had hoped it would be that Saturday evening.  There is a lot of work to be done to get our things organized and set up.  But we are moving in and making it our home.

We were so blessed to make some good friends through that trial; people we will continue to see regularly who were an incredible encouragement.  One of them encouraged me saying, "Satan knows the good that is going to come from the people who live in this house and will try to prevent it from happening."  It encouraged me to be reminded that God is going to use us to do some special things.  You know you are doing some great work of God when you run into opposition once in a while.

Another new friend told me, "God must really love you guys, because He seems to give the hardest tests to those He loves most."  When God has big responsibilities planned for someone, He tends to put them through a lot to rid them of their idols and focus their hearts more on Him.

When we get through this season, I look forward to the joys He has in store for my family; the good work that He has prepared for us to do.

Backwards Planning

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

9 pFor as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

- Isaiah 55:8

One of the most difficult things to get through my head is that God has a different plan than I do.  Even when we think we are striving to do His will, it often works out differently than we would have imagined.  It gets more difficult when you are certain you have been called to a specific task, career, or ministry and it doesn't come together like you think it should.

I know we have been called to this major life change to ministry training in Minneapolis.  The way our lives have been orchestrated and the lessons we have learned through those experiences has prepared us just for this time.  With the opening of doors and confirmation from trusted friends, we are certain this is the path.  Yet the steps down that path have been far different than expected.  We knew we had major things to accomplish and assumed there was a logical order: sell house, have baby, find new home, get a part-time job.

We couldn't get a new home without knowing what we were going to get out of our current home.  I figured I'd get a part-time job at some place close to where I lived.  I thought it would be easier to move out of our house before our baby arrived.  God had a different plan; almost exactly opposite of what I thought was necessary.

This entire summer actually reminds me of a book that God providentially brought to me during this transition time which helps me better understand this lesson.  Phil Vischer, the creator of VeggieTales, wrote a very easy-to-read autobiography of his journey toward and ultimately away from the award-winning animation empire he created.  He had what he felt was a godly vision and calling, and putting his nose to the grindstone sought to change the world for God.  After it all came crashing down (too late for him, but wonderfully humbling and rewarding), he realized that he never sought God's wisdom and direction in how he might use his talents.  Phil decided on a path that he thought would best honor God and ignored all voices who may have tried to give wise input. His lesson learned too late was that we don't have the freedom to simply plan our own path and vision without abundant and consistent seeking after God's wisdom and righteousness; even if we think we have a godly vision.

This has been a great part of my learning process in this transition period.  I thought I had a plan that made sense which would create an incredible story that I could tell all my friends about how spectacularly God would provide.  I had a vision and a plan in which God would receive the most glory - and I would receive the most prosperity.

HA!  You'd think I would learn this lesson that God isn't impressed with my plans. He's got even better plans for my sanctification and His glory.

The direction hasn't changed, but the steps to get there certainly has: have baby - stay in comfortable house all summer while baby settles into her routine, announce resignation from work - get multiple high-paying job offers, get turned down for housing loans - stumble upon a last minute opening to live with another seminary family and save some money.  Final steps: sell home and move!

God seems to always set before us a decision between what we are comfortable with and what might be a rewarding risk. What most people don't see is that there is huge risk with comfortable; we risk not growing.  When things go easy, when we are prosperous, when we are safe and comfortable, we have no urgency to always lean on God.  We've been learning to seek wisdom in the decision process and have begun to more and more choose the uncomfortable, risky option because we've seen in the end how God blesses us with more joy and faithfulness through it.

The latest decision which makes our families think we're crazy is that we have chosen to move into an old, large house with another seminary family.  We've always been comfortable living the suburban life in a newer home on a quarter acre lot with nice grass, air-conditioning, and separate living space away from people who annoy us.  Now we are moving into a home with people we barely know (not blindly, mind you, we have been doing our homework), to share living space and be vulnerable to one another in our weaknesses; trusting that God will use our different personalities to mold each of us to be more like Christ and use each of our talents to support and encourage one another for the next few years.

It is certainly a risk to our own comfortable lifestyle.  But when did Jesus ever promise us a life of comfort and ease?  I see the opposite in the New Testament; in the face of difficulty resulting from faithful choices, the church works as a family, sharing resources in order to encourage one another for even more faithful endeavors.

Not Done with My Fishing

Immediately they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:20, ESV)

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. (Matthew 13:47)

However, not to give offense to them, go to the sea and cast a hook and take the first fish that comes up, and when you open its mouth you will find a shekel. Take that and give it to them for me and for yourself. (Matthew 17:27)

 

Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but hthat night they caught nothing.

 

4 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples idid not know that it was Jesus. 5 jJesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.” 6 kHe said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. (John 21:3-6)

A short while ago, I had written on Jesus' call on the lives of the disciples to drop what they are doing and follow Him.  I was amazed at the immediate willingness of the disciples to drop what they were doing and follow an unknown path.  They were willing to give up their livelihoods, everything they knew to survive in order to follow Christ.  I felt at the time that I was in the same place; being asked to give up everything that had been educated in which provided for my family in order to take the step of faith to become a more full-time disciple and teacher.

However, the events of the last couple of weeks and another look at the gospels revealed something to me.  While the disciples did immediately drop their nets and follow Jesus, leaving behind everything that they had known, Jesus did not remove them completely from their past.  Throughout his three years teaching and preparing them, the disciples still found themselves often using their boating and fishing skills and Jesus used those experiences to illustrate important teaching.

Their years of fishing wasn't a waste of time.  In fact, in His providence, God ordained long before calling them that they would become fishermen, gaining much knowledge and many skills which would be important for kingdom work further on in their lives.

It would seem that God is now doing the same thing in my own life.  When I applied to Seminary and desired to move on into full-time ministry, I assumed I would be leaving engineering behind.  I had never known anyone to be a part-time engineer, especially the type of engineering which was a secondary career.  The engineers I know needed to be committed and available far more than the part-time schedule I would have available.

I did learn some very important things in my years as an engineer.  God used it to prepare me to be a better communicator, to be more confident, to understand people better, and to have ministry opportunities.  But I didn't see it having a continuing impact on my future ministry life.

Yet, just like Jesus had the disciples back in their boats, He has chosen to keep me back in the drawing room during my intensive discipleship period.  As it turns out my years of experience as an engineer were quite marketable in the engineering world and God has abundantly provided a well-paying part-time engineering job for my four years in seminary.  It will be more than enough to cover costs of living and care for my growing family.

I couldn't understand how this was all going to work together; what was the point of my engineering, how was I going to provide for my family?  It is all becoming clearer and I see that it is a path that God has used before with preparing His disciples for great ministry.

I am so privileged to be used by God; so thankful to experience His providence in such a remarkable way.  Through this risky step of faith I've seen God work more powerfully and experienced Him more personally than I ever realized was possible.  I can't shout loudly or sing sweetly enough to praise Him for His abundant blessing.