Backwards Planning

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

9 pFor as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

- Isaiah 55:8

One of the most difficult things to get through my head is that God has a different plan than I do.  Even when we think we are striving to do His will, it often works out differently than we would have imagined.  It gets more difficult when you are certain you have been called to a specific task, career, or ministry and it doesn't come together like you think it should.

I know we have been called to this major life change to ministry training in Minneapolis.  The way our lives have been orchestrated and the lessons we have learned through those experiences has prepared us just for this time.  With the opening of doors and confirmation from trusted friends, we are certain this is the path.  Yet the steps down that path have been far different than expected.  We knew we had major things to accomplish and assumed there was a logical order: sell house, have baby, find new home, get a part-time job.

We couldn't get a new home without knowing what we were going to get out of our current home.  I figured I'd get a part-time job at some place close to where I lived.  I thought it would be easier to move out of our house before our baby arrived.  God had a different plan; almost exactly opposite of what I thought was necessary.

This entire summer actually reminds me of a book that God providentially brought to me during this transition time which helps me better understand this lesson.  Phil Vischer, the creator of VeggieTales, wrote a very easy-to-read autobiography of his journey toward and ultimately away from the award-winning animation empire he created.  He had what he felt was a godly vision and calling, and putting his nose to the grindstone sought to change the world for God.  After it all came crashing down (too late for him, but wonderfully humbling and rewarding), he realized that he never sought God's wisdom and direction in how he might use his talents.  Phil decided on a path that he thought would best honor God and ignored all voices who may have tried to give wise input. His lesson learned too late was that we don't have the freedom to simply plan our own path and vision without abundant and consistent seeking after God's wisdom and righteousness; even if we think we have a godly vision.

This has been a great part of my learning process in this transition period.  I thought I had a plan that made sense which would create an incredible story that I could tell all my friends about how spectacularly God would provide.  I had a vision and a plan in which God would receive the most glory - and I would receive the most prosperity.

HA!  You'd think I would learn this lesson that God isn't impressed with my plans. He's got even better plans for my sanctification and His glory.

The direction hasn't changed, but the steps to get there certainly has: have baby - stay in comfortable house all summer while baby settles into her routine, announce resignation from work - get multiple high-paying job offers, get turned down for housing loans - stumble upon a last minute opening to live with another seminary family and save some money.  Final steps: sell home and move!

God seems to always set before us a decision between what we are comfortable with and what might be a rewarding risk. What most people don't see is that there is huge risk with comfortable; we risk not growing.  When things go easy, when we are prosperous, when we are safe and comfortable, we have no urgency to always lean on God.  We've been learning to seek wisdom in the decision process and have begun to more and more choose the uncomfortable, risky option because we've seen in the end how God blesses us with more joy and faithfulness through it.

The latest decision which makes our families think we're crazy is that we have chosen to move into an old, large house with another seminary family.  We've always been comfortable living the suburban life in a newer home on a quarter acre lot with nice grass, air-conditioning, and separate living space away from people who annoy us.  Now we are moving into a home with people we barely know (not blindly, mind you, we have been doing our homework), to share living space and be vulnerable to one another in our weaknesses; trusting that God will use our different personalities to mold each of us to be more like Christ and use each of our talents to support and encourage one another for the next few years.

It is certainly a risk to our own comfortable lifestyle.  But when did Jesus ever promise us a life of comfort and ease?  I see the opposite in the New Testament; in the face of difficulty resulting from faithful choices, the church works as a family, sharing resources in order to encourage one another for even more faithful endeavors.

Not Done with My Fishing

Immediately they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:20, ESV)

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. (Matthew 13:47)

However, not to give offense to them, go to the sea and cast a hook and take the first fish that comes up, and when you open its mouth you will find a shekel. Take that and give it to them for me and for yourself. (Matthew 17:27)

 

Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but hthat night they caught nothing.

 

4 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples idid not know that it was Jesus. 5 jJesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.” 6 kHe said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. (John 21:3-6)

A short while ago, I had written on Jesus' call on the lives of the disciples to drop what they are doing and follow Him.  I was amazed at the immediate willingness of the disciples to drop what they were doing and follow an unknown path.  They were willing to give up their livelihoods, everything they knew to survive in order to follow Christ.  I felt at the time that I was in the same place; being asked to give up everything that had been educated in which provided for my family in order to take the step of faith to become a more full-time disciple and teacher.

However, the events of the last couple of weeks and another look at the gospels revealed something to me.  While the disciples did immediately drop their nets and follow Jesus, leaving behind everything that they had known, Jesus did not remove them completely from their past.  Throughout his three years teaching and preparing them, the disciples still found themselves often using their boating and fishing skills and Jesus used those experiences to illustrate important teaching.

Their years of fishing wasn't a waste of time.  In fact, in His providence, God ordained long before calling them that they would become fishermen, gaining much knowledge and many skills which would be important for kingdom work further on in their lives.

It would seem that God is now doing the same thing in my own life.  When I applied to Seminary and desired to move on into full-time ministry, I assumed I would be leaving engineering behind.  I had never known anyone to be a part-time engineer, especially the type of engineering which was a secondary career.  The engineers I know needed to be committed and available far more than the part-time schedule I would have available.

I did learn some very important things in my years as an engineer.  God used it to prepare me to be a better communicator, to be more confident, to understand people better, and to have ministry opportunities.  But I didn't see it having a continuing impact on my future ministry life.

Yet, just like Jesus had the disciples back in their boats, He has chosen to keep me back in the drawing room during my intensive discipleship period.  As it turns out my years of experience as an engineer were quite marketable in the engineering world and God has abundantly provided a well-paying part-time engineering job for my four years in seminary.  It will be more than enough to cover costs of living and care for my growing family.

I couldn't understand how this was all going to work together; what was the point of my engineering, how was I going to provide for my family?  It is all becoming clearer and I see that it is a path that God has used before with preparing His disciples for great ministry.

I am so privileged to be used by God; so thankful to experience His providence in such a remarkable way.  Through this risky step of faith I've seen God work more powerfully and experienced Him more personally than I ever realized was possible.  I can't shout loudly or sing sweetly enough to praise Him for His abundant blessing.