Rain fell, Floods came, and Winds Blew and Beat on That House

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” (Matthew 7:24-27, ESV)

Well, here we are in the Twin Cities.  I started my new job in Minneapolis at the end of July in order to get the transition started sooner than later to avoid piling it all up at once.  We finally got an offer on our house so we decided after a couple weeks of being apart that we should move the family up as well on the first weekend of August.  This would give the family some time to establish a routine before school started.  It seemed like a good plan.

Did I say I had a good plan?  Those never seem to work out.

We planned to do all of our moving in one day.  Molly had spent a couple of weeks packing and labeling the boxes to make it easier for our moving help to get our things where they belonged.  We ordered a large U-Haul truck and had a big group of people ready to help us fill it up.  After catching our breaths, we planned to drive and hour and a half to the Cities and meet another crew awaiting us to help unload.  We certainly wouldn't get settled into the home in one day, but we hoped to have all the boxes where they belonged and get the furniture set up by evening.  It was such a good plan.

Just to be sure, I contacted our landlord to make sure everything would be ready for us.  We were told it would be ready except for a bathroom remodel being done.  "We can handle that" we thought.  We wanted to be together and we could put up with some bathroom work since we were going to end up with a nicer bathroom.

So we set about our way to have our plans more than slightly modified.

Molly had a dream the night before our move that during the move we were going to lose all of our things.  She was a bit worried that something bad was going to happen, but I assured her that we'd done a lot to prepare for this and everything would work out just fine.  I told her that I had a dream that we moved in and the place was completely remodeled and was the most gorgeous place we'd ever lived in (I didn't really expect that.  It was just to say how silly dreams can be).

The day started off with the U-Haul guy telling us they didn't have the size of truck we ordered so they would upgrade us for free to the largest truck he had; six feet longer than what I calculated was necessary.  "Oh well" I thought.  "We'll just have some extra space."

It turns out that God was taking care of us in my ignorance, because that truck was extremely efficiently organized and we still didn't have enough room for all of our things.  It was a bit embarassing how much stuff we had accumulated in only 6 years in that house.  But we were appreciative to all the help we had for their hard work.  We were still right on time and ready to head up to our new home.

The drive went well; nothing was damaged on the trip so I knew Molly's dream was wrong.  We pulled up to our new home, called our move-in help and took a deep breath to prepare for just a couple more hours of hard work before getting some good rest.

And "the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that [family]."

Walking up to the front door, my heart sank, my eyes welled up in tears, and I feared for my family.  The front yard was full of furniture from the previous tenants.  The entire house was under construction and didn't look like it would be ready for many days.  There was construction equipment in every single room; tools, materials, waste, and a crew for multiple projects; not just a bathroom.  Every sort of uncleanness decorated the house from the previous tenants' failure to learn the use of a vacuum or a wash cloth; dirt all over the floors, mouse droppings in every corner, stains all over the carpets, moldy food filling the refrigerator and cabinets, and a couple years of grease covering the kitchen counters, floors, and stove.  Because of the mess, there seemed to be quite the attraction for small rodents to the home.

I had walked in before Molly and the kids could make it up to the door.  My mind swirled with all of the assurances I made to her that it would be alright and the doubts we'd had about leaving our comfortable small-town home behind to move to the big city and live on very little.  I felt like I was punched in the gut and laughed at for being such a failure of a provider for my family.

We briefly looked around the house and determined that it would be impossible for the family to move in for a while.  And then I looked at our moving truck out front staring me in the face as I wondered what to do with everything we owned.  I quickly determined to get the family out of there, so I sent my wife and the kids away to her sister's house until I could straighten it all out; not having a clue how many days that might take.

If we hadn't already made a committment to some other friends we would have backed out of this living arrangement and found a new place to live.  I talked to the landlord who didn't seem to understand why I was so upset.  He told his maintenance folks to remodel the bathroom and get the house clean for our arrival.  He put me in contact with the project manager to work something out temporarily.

The move-in crew arrived as I sat on the front steps in complete shock.  Not knowing what to do.  Should I stay in a hotel room?  Put the truck in storage for a week?  I couldn't afford that.  Plus, we needed things that were in the truck.  It's hard to take care of three small children without their clothes, diapers, beds, soaps, etc.

I decided to head into the house and clear some space in a few of the rooms that had the least amount of work to be done.  We would ignore the work Molly did organizing and labeling every box and shove everything into these few rooms.  We'll let the crew finish their work and be back next weekend to try moving in again.  So for the next three hours, my newest best friends and I hauled in and stacked everything we owned into the mess; spending every moment at the edge of sobbing uncontrollably.

As we unloaded the truck into the front yard and into the house, people would walk by or drive up eyeballing our items and asking if they could take them.  I couldn't understand why so many people were circling our things like vultures.  My heart sank as I feared that I moved us into a neighborhood where people would be waiting for the opportunity to take whatever we took our eyes off of.  Molly's dream was coming true; we really were going to lose everything.

We finally finished unloading the truck.  I was so tired (as I planned to be at the end of the day), but there would be no rest as I had hoped.  I contacted the crew manager and pleaded with him to leave my things alone and actually protect them for my family.  "Please lock every door and close every shade to keep those vultures away from everything I own."  

His response sent me into despair, "We don't have a key.  We've just been leaving the back door unlocked to get in every day to work."

I left the house and all that I owned in that house pleading with him to figure out a way to lock the door.  My friends offered to take me in for the night.  We took the truck back to the store, I climbed into his care, and sobbed.  On the drive to somewhere restful, my new friends sat in silence for a while and then offered to take this 30 minute drive to pray for peace in the midst of chaos, for wisdom to know what to do next, for faith to trust that God will use this for good, and to avoid bitterness resulting from seeming injustice.

This was not  how it was supposed to go.  Why am I moving my family here?  What am I putting them through?  What is God's purpose in all of this?

These questions will take a while to get answered.

I managed to get to my family and stay with my sister-in-law for the week.  We talked to our landlord who was very apologetic about the entire thing.  There was some serious miscommunication which resulted in the entire event.  He offered to do everything possible to remedy the situation and to even go beyond that to make our new home a much better place to stay for the next few years.

For some reason, God decided to let Satan pour out some tribulation on our family that day.  Two weeks later, we still do not have the house to where we had hoped it would be that Saturday evening.  There is a lot of work to be done to get our things organized and set up.  But we are moving in and making it our home.

We were so blessed to make some good friends through that trial; people we will continue to see regularly who were an incredible encouragement.  One of them encouraged me saying, "Satan knows the good that is going to come from the people who live in this house and will try to prevent it from happening."  It encouraged me to be reminded that God is going to use us to do some special things.  You know you are doing some great work of God when you run into opposition once in a while.

Another new friend told me, "God must really love you guys, because He seems to give the hardest tests to those He loves most."  When God has big responsibilities planned for someone, He tends to put them through a lot to rid them of their idols and focus their hearts more on Him.

When we get through this season, I look forward to the joys He has in store for my family; the good work that He has prepared for us to do.

So That I Will Not Boast in Myself

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord  disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:5-11, ESV)

(European Pressphoto)

 At one point in the process of moving toward Bethlehem College and Seminary, I came upon what appeared to be a dead end road; an abrupt stop in what seemed to be such a clear path to me.  It was a blow to my faith as I thought I was walking in faithful obedience for quite a while only to meet the end of the road with a steep cliff at the end; standing at the precipice in the pouring rain with no apparent new direction.  It was a gut wrenching feeling to think that everything I had worked toward and given up was wrong. How would I ever know God's leading in my life if that which was as clear to me as anything else was actually incorrect?  I spiraled quickly into the pit of despair.

 But "faithful are the wounds of a friend" who I had really only gotten to know over the phone during my interview process.  I had come to deeply respect this man's experienced perspective and he called me up to correct my prideful self-loathing.  What he told me is something that is difficult and important for me to remember every time I wonder how and why God is working.  He reminded me that God didn't do so much work in me for the last few years to leave me out to dry here and that instead of pitying myself and worrying about what God is doing, my only responsibility is to think about what I can learn through this experience and how I can become more holy through it.

 I didn't like the feeling of rejection and impotence.  I am the kind of guy who sees what needs to be done and makes it happen.  But my wise friend was sure to remind me that I am not in control and I need to learn how to let go of the reigns and trust God's work.

 As it turned out, the dead-end road was just an illusion.  The path became clearer later and looking back now, I recoil at the memory of my pathetic heart in such a moment.  But now I seem to, again, have come upon another road block in which I should be getting a little anxious about how it will work out.

 Just two months from when I need to leave, my house still hasn't sold, I have no idea where we will live, and I'm still on the lookout for that part-time job to support my family.  Last year, when we were filling out the application and weighing our financial situation, we had assumed that through various efforts we would make the move with a good amount of savings to move forward with.  And since that time, we've seen almost every one of those opportunities dwindle to the point where we will likely have less than half of what was expected. At times I feel like Gideon about to embark on a significant endeavor with God cutting out every possible resource that could be a source of personal boasting.

To this point we've been okay with that. I try to remind myself of the words of my faithful friend, that God has been preparing us for this endeavor, and instead of fretting about how it will work out I need to simply think about what I can learn in this moment and who I can minister to with what I do have today.  God will take care of tomorrow.

In our recent congregational prayer meeting (and in a John Piper blog post), I was reminded about the purpose of God's work in our lives: that He would receive great glory.  The reason He took away all of Gideon's battle resources was so He could be sure to get the credit for the victory.  The reason God answers our prayers is so that in receiving an answer we will praise Him for his provision.  The reason He sustains us through trials is to reveal Himself to be our strength in our time of weakness.

 The longer He makes me wait, the more excited I get to shout from the rooftops His amazing love and care for me.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:1-3, ESV)

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We live in a fast culture.  We want everything and we want it right now.  Pull your car up to a window and get an entire meal for your family in less than two minutes.  We can get 100 Mbps internet in our home that allows us to download an entire high definition movie in 2 minutes.  Smart phones allow us to have instant communication with anyone in anyplace whenever we feel like it.  Entire libraries worth of information are at our fingertips as we sit at a downtown bus stop.

Because of these blessings, we have become an impatient people.  We have little time for those who might slow us down.  Driver stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire?  No time to help when we are already late for work.  Just need to stop into the store to pick up a couple things?  Delayed three minutes because a 70 year old woman has 12 items in the ten-items-or-less express lane...and she's writing a check!

It is especially frustrating to have to slow down when you've got every minute of your next two months planned out and God has a different plan.  It reveals what's in my heart when I am impatient with others throughout my day, but it really shows my lack of faith when God tells me to wait and I can't sit still and trust Him.

Right now I see a hundred things that need to get done in the next few months to get settled in to our new life in Minneapolis.  I need to find money to pay for everything.  I need to find a part-time job.  I need to find a home to live in.  I need to figure out how to get moved up there and when would be the best time.  I need to get some books, and maybe a new computer.  I need to pass a Greek exam.  There are details of each of these things that I am ready to get going on figuring out.

I've said before that I am a planner and a doer.  I see what needs to be done, formulate a plan, and work hard to achieve excellent results.  So when God tells me to wait, it is hard for me to sit still.  I feel like I am wasting time.  I feel like I'm ready to start the game, but the computer is slowly stretching that little bar across the screen saying, "Loading..."

Sometimes life is "hurry up and wait."  For one entire summer, Molly and I prepared for our adoption.  We read all the required books, took the training courses, and finished our home study in near record time.  And then we waited for two years for God to bring us our son.  We scrambled for a few weeks to get our house ready to be put on the market, and now we wait for God to bring the right buyer.  We are within days of our baby being born.  Everything is set up to be ready for her arrival; kids have a place to stay for a couple days, house ready to be shown while we are out, the bags are packed for a couple days in the hospital; and now we wait.

It's hard to wait when I see all that needs to get done, but I too easily forget that God is sovereign over every detail.  I too easily get focused on the next step that I forget to be content with where I am right now; to enjoy this very moment.  God has been so good to me up to now (obviously better than I deserve since I continually doubt His good providence), why should I question His ability to provide for all that needs to be done as we take a step of faith in order to know Him better?

These words from Jesus need to be stapled to my forehead to remind me daily that He is good and He will provide what is necessary for my obedience:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."