Showing posts with label Sovereignty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sovereignty. Show all posts

Friday, July 10, 2015

Slaying the Giant

I had the honor of preaching at Hope Baptist Church in Mankato, MN last weekend. Below is my manuscript.

Sometimes we have heard a story so many times that the story begins to take on a new life. Characters become so familiar to us that we ascribe our own motives and emotions to them. We linger on our favorite parts of the story and often leave out some important details. Characters who were meant to be representations become the heroes or are forgotten completely. One such story I’ve spent a lot of time in lately is the story of David and Goliath.

            My three year old son loves the story of David and Goliath and I fear it is for all the wrong reasons. He likes to act out the battle; however, instead of being the winner of the battle he much prefers to be Goliath. He never pretends to use a sling and a stone, but likes swords and spears and armor. He likes to be the big scary guy that laughs and growls to intimidate others (as much as a 3 year old boy can intimidate anyone). He completely misses the point of the story. But even if he chose to be on the right side of the battle I think he would still miss it.

            The story of David and Goliath is so well-known that the basic storyline is known even among most non-Christians. If you break the story down enough it can sound like many other fables we like to share. We love a story of the little guy overcoming insurmountable odds. It makes for great movies. We like to cheer for the underdog in major sporting events. We root for the good guy who seems to have everything in the world going against him. We want the little guy at school to find freedom from the big bully who mocks him across the playground. And we want the meek and gentle good guy to win the girl. These are all “David and Goliath” stories.

           But I want to suggest that none of them is truly a David and Goliath story. The hero of the tale is not David. The moral of the story isn’t that God will fight for the good guys. The story is meant to highlight God’s power to overcome all that stands in opposition to his plans. Let’s take a look at the narrative in 1 Samuel chapter 17:

READ 1 Samuel 17:1–54

            This story sticks in our minds because the imagery is so vivid that we can very easily see ourselves standing before a 9-foot warrior and trembling in our sneakers. The fear can seem so real because each one of us has experienced or maybe currently faces an obstacle that stands in your way and to even think of moving towards it leaves you fearful. But before going there, let us look at what is happening in this text.
 
          Verses 2 through 7 paint the scene in a large valley with both armies staged on either side preparing for hand-to-hand combat. The circumstances were not pleasant. If you were a soldier in the battle your life could very likely end soon. If you weren’t killed in the battle and the enemy won the battle, you would be taken as a slave away from your family the rest of your life. And opposing the Israelite army was this champion soldier, Goliath of Gath. He towered over every other soldier on the field. He had armor so thick and heavy that no arrow or sword could penetrate it. The body armor itself weighed over 100 pounds. Yet he was so strong that he could move his own weapons without being slowed by it. His spear was likely as long as he was with a head that weighed 15 pounds (think 2 gallons of milk). He was skilled in battle. He feared nothing. He taunted the Israelites knowing that there was no one else who could match his size and military skill.

           And his taunts worked to strike fear into the hearts of Israel. They had no chance against such an enemy. They didn’t have the skill. They didn’t have the weapons. And if they failed, they were either dead or slaves in another country.

            Then, in verse 12, we are introduced to God’s weapon, little shepherd boy, David. I find the transition from verse 11 to 12 intriguing. After Goliath’s taunts all of Israel was dismayed and greatly afraid. And then we see, “Now David was the son of Jesse.” Wait! What?! What is happening on the battle field. Everyone is afraid and now you are going to tell me a cute little story about a shepherd? But this is God’s plan. He is about to respond to Goliath’s taunts with a humble display of his own power.

            This is a good time to pause and consider Goliath’s opposition. Five times we see in chapter 17 a reference to Goliath defying the armies of Israel, both in his own curses and David’s summary of his antagonism. The word “defy” doesn’t simply mean to be opposed or to reject something, but it has a sense of derision to it. Goliath despises Israel and uses his words to express revulsion toward Israel and all of their ways. In a sense he is cursing Israel. This should lead you to think of what God said he would do to those who curse Israel. In Genesis 12:3 God promises Abraham, “I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.” Surely David remembers this promise when he hears the curses of Goliath.

            Even after Abraham, when God was bringing the people into the Promised Land God told them in Deuteronomy 7, ““If you say in your heart, ‘These nations are greater than I. How can I dispossess them?’ you shall not be afraid of them but you shall remember what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt, the great trials that your eyes saw, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, and the outstretched arm, by which the LORD your God brought you out. So will the LORD your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid.” David knows that God promised to defeat Israel’s enemies.

            He knows that God has a plan to use his people to bring redemption to this broken world and nothing will stop God from enacting his plan. There is nothing special about Israel that God must defend them. In fact it is quite the opposite. God says in Deut. 9:4: “Do not say in your heart, after the LORD your God has thrust them out before you, ‘It is because of my righteousness that the LORD has brought me in to possess this land,’ whereas it is because of the wickedness of these nations that the LORD is driving them out before you.” There is nothing better about Israel (or you and I for that matter) that requires God to protect them from their enemies. It is only because he chose to set his love upon them and provide for them. And he has shown himself faithful to that promise over and over again to do that very thing.

            And this is why David charges into battle without fear. Deuteronomy 6 tells parents to teach their children during every waking moment of the day about the promises God has made and the works he has done. As a child of a devout Israelite family, David would know well the works and promises of God. He knows that God promised to protect Israel. He has heard stories past down through the generations how God did protect Israel. And he saw it in his own life when God led him, as verses 34–37 describe, to defeat a lion and a bear to keep his own sheep safe. David did not think that the key to victory was to carefully craft and diligently execute his own plan; he simply trusted in the promises of God.

            From here we know the end of the story. Picking up in verse 41where David meets his opponent we see Goliath mocking David, but David isn’t concerned about protecting his own image. One of the five times that we see the word “defy” in this chapter is when David proclaims in verse 45, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” Goliath didn’t simply defy Israel when he taunted them, he defied God himself.

            This world is God’s. He created it. All of the beauty we see was made to reflect his beauty. People were made to display his love toward one another. People rejected that, yet God is working out his plan through the people of Israel to restore creation to its original splendor. God had chosen Israel not because they were great, but because that is how he thought it best to restore creation by his great power. To defy the instrument of his plan is to defy God himself. David, knowing that nothing can derail God’s purposes, was simply aligning himself with God’s plan in opposing Goliath. He proclaims with confidence in verse 46:

"This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give you into our hand."

            David knows that “the battle is the LORD’s.” Nobody can stand against God, not even the greatest warrior on earth. He simply steps with confidence into God’s victorious plan. Whatever enemy that stands before him that opposes the will of God stands no chance against the power of God.

            So, what does this mean to us in this room? Is the story of David and Goliath telling you simply to face your fears and God will bring down any giant standing before you? I don’t think so. There are four things I want us to consider when we think of this story.

1)         God is in control, he has a plan, and nothing will thwart his plan.
2)         Man’s greatest enemy is sin and death.
3)         God has defeated this enemy on the cross.
4)         Man can only be on one side or the other? Which side of the battle do you align yourself with?

              So First, it is important to know that this story is primarily about God. It is a minor scene in the great narrative of God redeeming people from the effects of the fall. God originally made this world perfect. Adam and Eve lived in the garden and walked with God in perfect harmony. Life was good. But the first people decided to pursue happiness without God, flipping the world upside-down, bringing all kinds of pain and suffering with it. We see these effects everywhere and we repeat the same mistakes. We cannot blame Adam and Eve when we put other things above God ourselves. We choose our own path every day. We put ourselves on the throne of authority over our own lives. And because we are too small, too limited, we do not have the capability to run our lives as well as God can. But from the beginning God had a plan to restore things to the way he intended them. The Bible is the unfolding of God’s plan throughout history.

            He promised Adam and Eve that one day one of their children would be used to crush the enemy and bring restoration (Gen. 3:15). God revealed more of the plan to Abraham that one of his children would be used to bless people from every nation (Gen 12:3; 18:18; 22:18). On Mount Sinai God described to Moses what this redeemer would be like and the type of life that he would purchase for his people. Through king David God paints a faint picture of the type of king this redeemer would be over our lives. Every book of the Bible describes human and satanic attempts to derail God’s plan, but every time we see how God is still in control to bring his plan to completion.

            The story of David and Goliath is another one of these stories. Goliath dares to stand in the path of God as David says in verse 45 “whom you have defied,” and the story shows that no matter how big the enemy or no matter how small the weapon of battle, God will accomplish his purposes.

              Second, we see in this story that sin is the real enemy. Goliath wasn’t simply being mean to the Israelites; he was defying God himself. Goliath never said, “I curse your God.” But David, knew that his defiance was against God. That is the essence of sin, opposing God. When David himself committed great sin in 2 Samuel 11 by stealing a man’s wife and having her husband killed, he wrote Psalm 51 calling out in repentance to God proclaiming that his sin was primarily against God. Our greatest enemy is not the bully on the playground, the difficult boss at the office, or the financial problems we may be experiencing. Our biggest problem is our own sin, our own lack of trust that God’s ways are the best ways, our lack of enthusiasm for God’s glory.

              No matter what we fear we can know that God can overcome that fear. Essentially, fear is lack of trust in God. When we fear something we elevate its power above God and the thing itself becomes God. We act in response to what we fear. Against Goliath, David feared only God and therefore went head on into battle.

             To put it simply, it is a picture of our redeemer overcoming our ultimate enemy; on the cross Jesus severed the head of sin and death winning the victory on our behalf. Goliath represents sin and its ultimate end. Sin stands towering before us leaving us no way out. If we try to overcome sin in our own power it will eventually destroy us, if not killing us then it will enslave us.

              There are some sins that lead to death. Some sins will quite literally create illnesses in the mind or body that will destroy us. Think of all of the diseases and decay that result from an abuse of sex or drugs. Other sins, however, are more subtle. We lie to cover up our weaknesses and continue to lie to keep them hidden. We proudly boast in our goodness to keep other people from seeing our faults. These types of sins tempt us with happiness and pleasure, but as the pleasures wear off they require more commitment to avoid their immediate consequences. Eventually we are addicted to the sins and we can’t imagine life without them, we begin to believe they are necessary for survival, and we define who we are by them. It is a deep pit that we can’t climb out of because most of the time we don’t even realize we are in it.

             Third, it may not be obvious at first, but the point of the David and Goliath story is to point you to Jesus as the means to that victory. All it takes is a small instrument like David in the hands of a powerful God to bring down a giant sin. At the time of Christ there was nothing glorious about a cross. It was an instrument of torture for the worst of criminals. What an offense it would be for the Savior to be killed on a cross! What a joke it would have been for a dirty shepherd boy to be the instrument of Israel’s salvation against its greatest enemy. But God uses the foolish things in the world to shame the wise and the powerful. On the cross Jesus defeated the power of sin and death, dropping it to its knees and cutting off its head.

            Even the place where Jesus was crucified may have a more explicit connection to David and Goliath than we think. The place was named “Golgotha” or the place of the skull. Nobody has been able to find any historical documentation on how that place got that name. Some might speculate that it was because so many had been executed there. My Old Testament professor wondered if it wasn’t a reference to David and Goliath. David not only drops the giant Goliath to the ground, but he cuts off his head in verse 51 and carries the head to Jerusalem as a trophy of God’s victory over their enemy. Perhaps Golgotha is short for Goliath of Gath. This would suggest that David’s defeat of Goliath was simply a foreshadow of God’s greater victory over sin to come when Jesus died on the cross.

           And finally, however, this victory over our giant enemy, sin, doesn’t apply to everyone. At the great battle against the Philistines there were many who were destroyed along with Goliath. Even the king of Israel, Saul, did not submit himself to the authority of God and eventually lost his position and even his life. Those who will be saved will be those who, like David, align themselves with the will of God, those who submit to Christ’s authority, those who fear God more than man. The New Testament terms for this are “repentance” and “faith.”

             To repent means to turn away from your previous desires, your previous patterns of life. It means to reject everything about your own plan for your life, to despise who you are apart from Christ. When you are repenting you are looking at the giant of sin that stands before you and saying with desperate plea, “I can’t do this! I am weak. I am tired. I have nothing to give in this battle.”
And by faith, then, we put our trust in the power of God to slay the giant. Faith is trust in his promises to redeem his people. It is believing his plan to restore everything and wipe away sin and death. Faith is placing all our hope on Jesus’ death on the cross as a sufficient payment for our sins and in his resurrection as the promise that one day sin will be completely removed from our world.

              If you have not yet repented and put your faith in Christ, see the message of David and Goliath as a warning that God will defeat all those who oppose him. He will one day cast sin and death and all who cling to their sin into eternal darkness. But on the cross he provides a way out. All who believe in him will be spared from that fate. Whatever addiction or fear towers over you that you cannot seem to defeat, God is able to slay that giant and willing to do so on behalf of those who trust in him through Christ.

              But the gospel message isn’t just how we get saved, it is the truth by which believers live. The giants don’t all instantly go away once we choose to step onto God’s side of the battle. God doesn’t simply fight the battles for us making life easier for us. We need to face every sin that confronts us and attack it with the truth that Christ conquered it on the cross.
The story of David and Goliath doesn’t teach us to buck up, devise a plan, and resolve to defeat the giant with our own determination. Our strategy is to confess our weakness to God and move forward in trust that he has given us the power of his Holy Spirit and the fellowship of his church to overcome any temptation. And the battle keeps on going until the day we leave this world. David faced many struggles after he defeated the giant. He fell into great sin, but he repented of it with great weeping and mourning and called out to God to give him the joy of salvation from the giant of sin which was far bigger than Goliath.

           The first of Martin Luther’s 95 theses said that when Jesus commanded us to repent, he meant that our lives would be marked with continual repentance. So I leave you today with a great call to arms in your soul. There is a battle going on with sin. John Owen said, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Engage the battle, not by creating clever tricks or plans by which you can avoid sin or pretend it is not a threat. Face it with the power of the cross. Repent! Call out to God to be merciful to you and by the blood of Christ give you the power to overcome sin. And put all your faith in the one who slayed the giant Goliath and crushed sin’s skull at Golgotha.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Who is God?

I am taking a personal evangelism class this week and we have to write a one page summary on a topic to share each day in class. I'll post each this week as I finish them. Below is a brief summary answering the question: Who is God?


          God is the creator of the entire universe. Because he made everything he owns it all; he rules over it all; he holds it all together with the same power by which he created it. He set it in motion and set the rules by which it operates. God created everything and upholds it all simply by speaking it into existence. Nothing can thwart his design.

For all eternity God exists as one singular being with a mysterious relational essence. He is unified in purpose, in power, in glory, yet he has always been satisfied in his perfect intertrinitatarian relationship of love; the Father, his perfect image, the Son, and the everlasting love between themselves, the Holy Spirit. God was perfectly joyful in his own relationship, but out of the overflow of his goodness he created the world, with a particular emphasis on people who would reflect his relational joy, so that his loving Spirit would indwell them as he does God himself.

Throughout history God has revealed himself to be a strong provider and protector, supplying every need for his people and lovingly keeping them from greatest harm. God is a judge who will punish every evil and right every wrong which has infected his perfect creation. God is the commander of the most powerful host of angelic soldiers while at the same time he is the kind and gentle father to his weak and needy children. He has a tender heart toward the outcasts of society, toward the meek and lowly, toward the abused and broken. He guides all of history to bring them to himself that they may be healed, lifted up, and cherished experiencing his perfect joy.

In one of the greatest mysteries in the world, God became a man, Jesus, who lived, breathed, walked on this earth experiencing hunger, sadness, joy, pain, and longing as we have yet without once straying from the perfect will of the Father. By his eternal power he performed miracles of healing, miracles of creation, miracles of forgiveness. Even though he deserved all honor he worked for the honor of others. Even though he possessed all the riches of the world, he had no place to lay his head. Even though he himself was the source of life, he died at the hands of Roman executioners. But death could not contain him; rising from the grave after three days in the tomb and ascending into heaven after 40 days among his people he now sits upon his throne in heaven as sovereign ruler of the world working for the good of his people.

But he did not leave his people alone; he sent his Holy Spirit so that he would not only dwell among us, but within us. The Holy Spirit convicts people of sin and judgment. He reveals truth to the darkened heart and brings sight to the blind. He exists as the enactment of God’s perfect will and proceeds from the Father and the Son as the perfect love they enjoy forever. This same Spirit dwells not only in the Godhead but also within his own people, enabling them to experience true joy, to know his truth and his will, to love others as he has loved his own. The Holy Spirit guides his people through this broken world, comforting them through difficulty until he renews it all back to perfect glory.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

He Holds All Things Together

I had the honor of preaching at Hope Baptist Church in Mankato, MN just over a week ago. Below is my manuscript.

What goes through your mind when you hear the word “sovereignty”? More specifically, what do you think about when you hear that God is sovereign? The truth that God is sovereign is all over Scripture, but how many of us actually live as though Jesus is Lord; as though he is truly supreme over everything in existence?

Last year during one of the blessed opportunities I was given to share a message with you, I was struck during our singing time when Jim suggested that we sing such truthful songs as liars. We sing such worshipful songs, such God-exalting lyrics, and our hearts are often far from him, and we leave worship unchanged by such magnificent truths. That hit me square in the face. Here I am at seminary being inundated with glorious biblical truth. I pray that I don’t walk away from this season unchanged! And one thing that I need to hear over and over is that Jesus is supreme over all things; he is better than all my simple desires; he is better than my grades and my systematized theology; he is bigger than my fears and more powerful than my failures; he sees everything done in secret and holds my next breath in his hands. Jesus is Lord. He is sovereign. Everything was made for him and everything points to his supremacy.

That is the purpose of the book of Hebrews and that’s what I want to focus on this morning. I want to lift Jesus up as the sovereign ruler over every moment of our lives and think about what that means for every day I exist in his creation.

Open your Bibles with me to Hebrews 1, and we will look together at the first four verses.
Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.

We don’t know who wrote the book of Hebrews. It doesn’t begin like the other letters of the NT which identify the author and the audience before getting into the content of the message. The title comes from tradition which recognized that the content of the letter clearly assumes a strong Jewish background. The author intends to convince his Jewish readers that everything about their religious system were symbols meant to point to a far greater reality. Angels are simply glorious beings intended to magnify the glory of God. Moses and the prophets were merely human instruments to proclaim the words of God. The priests were imperfect mediators who went to God on behalf of the people. The Old Covenant was a system devised to daily remind Israel of their need for salvation. All of these things anticipated the coming of someone greater than all of it, who would fulfill all of it, and who would bring glory to God by satisfying all of it.

And the author wastes no time revealing who is supreme over all of the Old Covenant. Clearly these first four verses refer to Jesus as the one who is greater than all the Jews clung to so tightly. Though his name is not used, the titles and the actions that describe him are meant to lead us to see that this humble Jesus who walked the earth and was executed like a common criminal is actually more powerful than the greatest king; his words carry more authority than the most righteous prophet; his sacrifice more perfect than all sacrifices ever offered.

The introduction to the book of Hebrews lays the groundwork for why Jesus is greater than all of this; Jesus is Lord!

What does it mean to say that Jesus is Lord? The word can be a simple title, meaning someone of higher class or authority, especially of a person who is your master. We should mean that when we say that Jesus is our lord. He calls the shots in our life. He gets to decide what is important to us and what we do with our resources. We don’t pursue anything unless we first determine whether or not it fits into his plan for us as his servants. Yet when the NT writers say that Jesus is Lord, they mean even more than that.

First we see that Jesus is supreme because his words have the authority of God himself. When Moses came down from Mt. Sinai, he didn’t command the people by saying, “I have some really good ideas on how to worship God.” No! He said, “Thus says the LORD!” Prophets didn’t proclaim in the streets of Israel based on their own authority, but on the authority of the LORD. Any prophet who proved to speak without the authority of the LORD was to be killed; it was blasphemy to assume the authority of the LORD. Jews knew that when the LORD spoke worlds were created, enemies were defeated, life overcame death. And Jesus spoke not like a prophet, but with the authority of the LORD himself.

We also see that Jesus is supreme because the glory of God radiates from him. The glory of God was something special to Jews as well. God’s glory led them out of Egypt with great power, through the Red Sea and the wilderness and into the Promised Land. The glory of God filled the tabernacle and the temple to signify that God dwells with his people. When the glory of God was near the people, they could overcome sin and temptation, they could defeat enemies that pressed in on them, they would prosper. And when the glory of God departed from the temple, they fell into idolatry; their enemies captured them and took them into exile. The glory of God resides among those God is pleased with, and the book of Hebrews says that not only does the glory of God dwell with Christ, Jesus is in fact the exact representation of God’s glory! Jesus said that if you have seen him you have seen the Father; if you know him you know the Father. To see the glory of God, says the writer of Hebrews, is to see Jesus.

And finally, we see that Jesus is supreme because his name reveals his nature. Verse four says he has inherited a name more excellent than the angels. After fulfilling all the Father had for him to do on earth, he sat down in heaven with the authority of the name above all names. What is that name? When Moses met God in the burning bush, he asked God, “What is your name?” God’s response was, “I am.” From that time on Israel knew God by his covenant name, not just God, but Yahweh, which means “to be”. His name reveals his character, the one who exists and causes all things to exist without anything outside of him influencing his existence. We depend on God in every moment to exist, but God simply is. This name was holy and was to be revered says the third commandment, so later Jews, afraid to offend God and be taken back into exile, would never speak the name. Instead, when they would read his name written down they would think of “I am” but they would say “my Lord.” Instead of saying “Yahweh,” they would read it but say “Adonai.” This tradition held even when Greek speaking Jews translated the Old Testament into Greek; they translated the name Yahweh, not as a transliterated name, but simply using the Greek word κυριος, or Lord. That is why when you read your OT, you see LORD in all caps. These are instances when the Hebrew should see the name Yahweh and read “Lord.”

What is the point of this brief lecture on translations? Turn briefly to Philippians 2:9. In his letter of encouragement to the Philippians, Paul sings this hymn about the humble glory of Jesus and climaxes his song by saying, “every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.” I don’t think Paul is saying that everyone will submit to Jesus as their master. He is making the bold statement that Jesus is “I am.” If that is not true, then Paul is committing blasphemy. The name which Jews revered so highly, the name that nobody but God himself can claim, Paul is attributing to Jesus. Jesus himself made the claim of that name multiple times in the book of John, clearly saying one time, “Before Abraham was, I am.” And that, too, is what the writer of Hebrews is claiming. Jesus, carrying the name of “I am” and with that name he is supreme over all things.

He holds creation together by the power of his voice. He unfolds history by willing it into existence. He sets up nations and brings them to ruin. All things point to him and are for his glory. He can do whatever he pleases, and he has determined that what pleases him most, what brings him most glory, is being the perfect sacrifice for sins, being the perfect priest mediating between God and sinners, being the perfect king, working to redeem a people who find their greatest joy in submitting to him.
Before asking how this truth should change your life, I want to look to a few specific examples in the world to magnify your understanding of Jesus supremacy over all creation and history. We see from verse three that the word of God, Jesus, holds all things together by his own will. Colossians 1:17 and Romans 11:36 speak to this as well, that all things hold together by him and all things are not just made through him, but for his own purposes. So what types of things hold together by the word of this supreme Jesus?

Psalm 19:1 declares, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.” Did anyone see about a month ago the incredible image NASA released of the Andromeda galaxy? It was the clearest, highest resolution photo NASA has ever obtained of such a distant object. Andromeda is the closest galaxy to our galaxy, the Milky Way. The photo shows 100 million stars clustered together in the one galaxy that is 40,000 light years across and 2 million light years away from us. And this is one of 100 billion galaxies, and God upholds their moment-by-moment existence by speaking them into being.

Those are the enormous things that Jesus is bigger than, but look at the small things that he creates with such fine-tuned detail. As technology improves we are able to see smaller and smaller things, but it always seems like there is something smaller. Scientists used to think that the body was made up of millions of cells that resembled little more than a tiny, empty bubble. Then they looked closer and realized that each of these millions of cells were incredibly complex little factories each containing a library of information working to create energy to power your body. Then they looked closer and realized that each of these millions of little factories was made up of complex molecules which were made up of dozens of atoms. Each atom–unable to be seen by even the most powerful microscope–is made up of a nucleus of protons and neutrons surrounded by tiny electrons whizzing around in orbit. I remember my college chemistry professor teaching us some theory that we don’t actually know what an electron is because they travel so fast and so randomly that if you saw one it would instantly be gone without any idea which direction it went. But God knows exactly what it is made up of, where it has been, and where it is going. But even these protons, neutrons, and electrons are made up of even smaller things like quarks and neutrinos. These subatomic particles moving around at the speed of light move one frame at a time in God’s eyes.

Getting more personal, look at how incredible God has made our bodies. Psalm 139 God knit us together in the womb; we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We start out as a single cell and in the period of 9 months we are a fully functioning person ready to take in the beauty of God’s creation. We have eyes to see more color than the greatest camera and focus quicker than the fastest lens. We have a heart that never stops supplying every cell in your body with every nutrient it needs. We have a brain and nervous system that is faster and more complex than the most powerful supercomputer ever made. And God creates each one with a unique ability to reflect his glory.

I was amazed a couple weeks ago at God’s incredible design of our blood-clotting system. I was at work cutting some paper with a scissors and sliced my pinky finger up really bad; probably bad enough that I should have gotten sttiches to hold it closed. I quickly wrapped it up with gauze and within minutes it stopped bleeding; within a few hours it had completely clotted up; and today you can barely even tell there was a cut. I was able to worship God for slicing my finger open and watching his handiwork in action.

God isn’t just in control of physical matter, but of time as well. God is outside of time as we know it. 2 Peter 3:8 reminds us that a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day. Because he holds time in his hand he has patience to wait for the last of his sheep to repent even if it is a thousand years from now. But he also knows what happens in the smallest fraction of a second. It only takes a moment in time for you to decide to move your hand, and then send the signal from your brain to your hand, then for your hand to move and send a signal back to your brain so you perceive that your hand did move. But God sees your decision and brain signal happening as though it were a slow motion video. At any time during the processing of your thought he, in his sovereignty, could interrupt your decision to move your hand and prevent it from happening.

God holds every moment in time and every smallest particle of matter in his hands. So it should be of no surprise to us, then, that God orchestrated all of history to climax into what Galatians 4:4 refers to as “the fullness of time.” What is the fullness of time? Paul uses the phrase to describe the moment in history when god had moved all world events into the perfect place so that Christ could accomplish his redemptive mission and word could spread quickly to the whole world. All of creation, all of history was made for this moment.

The Greeks conquered the ancient world and everywhere they went they forced their language and culture on every other culture. They thought they were improving the world by unifying everyone under their “superior” language. But God was using their common language to make it easier to spread the word of Christ around the world.

The Romans conquered the Greeks, kept their language, and built high-quality roads between every city in the empire. They set guards along every route to make military mobilization, trade, and communication happen quickly and safely. They thought they were making their empire prosper, but God was using their roads and army to make it easier to spread the word of Christ around the world.
The Jews were exiled and dispersed around the world and instead of returning home many started synagogues in cities all over the Roman empire. The Romans granted Judaism legal exemption from worshiping the Roman gods and Caesars and offered them protection from religious opposition. The Romans thought they were just trying to keep the peace in their kingdom, but God used these decrees to create multiple safe venues to spread the word of Christ around the world.

Jesus is supremely sovereign over every detail of time and space. That isn’t a truth that we should store in the back of our minds for a test in seminary, or for a theological debate, or for acceptance into the community of Calvinists. It should radically change our lives. Not a single decision of my day should be made without considering God’s control over my life and Jesus’ work of salvation to bring the glory of God into my heart.

So now I want to transition to making it practical for our lives. What does it mean for me that Jesus is Lord?

First I want to speak to those who have not yet submitted to him as Lord. The majority of the world acts as though Jesus has no authority over them. You may think to yourself, “I create my own destiny. I create meaning for myself and do what makes me happy. I don’t need Jesus.” But it does not matter whether you submit to him or not; Jesus still holds your breath, your body, your very existence together. Our belief doesn’t make him sovereign, he is sovereign. You couldn’t think without him giving you a brain, upholding your brain, and creating each moment for your brain to exist. You live in a fragile world; the chair you sit in, the heart beating in your chest, the ground beneath your feet are all held together by his will. At any moment he could determine that your life no longer exist. Yet by his kindness, by his patient mercy he still gives you opportunity to acknowledge his glory. Alexander the Great too thought he was conquering the world by his own authority. All of the Caesars of the Roman empire thought they were ruling as the only influence on their own desires to control their own destiny. But in it all God was orchestrating their decisions to shape world history for his own purposes. All of history was created for this purpose, that the loving pleasure God was satisfied to experience in his Trinitarian nature would dwell within his people. The rise and fall of nations, the creation of galaxies and quarks, the knitting of your life together was all done so that Jesus would come to “make purification for sins” so that we who failed to even acknowledge him could be made to see and savor his glory. We act as though Jesus has no authority in our lives. We steal his right to reign in our hearts. We reject the goodness he desires for his creation. The greatest good he has in mind for us is that his Holy Spirit would dwell within us so that we would experience the great joy he has enjoyed for eternity. Yet we say to him, “No thanks. I’ll create my own happiness.” What fools are we to reject the greatest joy there is. And God will have no hesitation in the end of time to cast away all who reject his eternal joy into an eternal state of misery.
Though his creation rejected him, Hebrews says that Jesus made purification for sins. That is he took God’s rejection of sinners upon himself, so that those who repent and trust in him could still receive the joy that only Jesus knows. And when we receive that eternal life with him, the supremacy of Christ is no longer a threat to our joy, but becomes in our hearts the only source of it.

What do I mean by the supremacy of Christ being our source of joy. Now I speak to those who have put their faith in Christ. God’s sovereignty over all things shouldn’t scare us. It shouldn’t be a threat to our pleasures, but the only confidence of obtaining true pleasure. It should be a truth that leaves us with assurance, confidence, and joyful thankfulness.

First assurance. The writer of Hebrews wanted to encourage the Hebrew Christians wherever they were to stay faithful to Jesus. Jews had begun to fight against the spread of the gospel saying that those who became believers were abandoning the true faith. Jews tried to convince their brothers that turning to Jesus was abandoning the covenant God made with their fathers. But the author of Hebrews wanted to bring assurance to them. Because all of the covenant pointed to Christ, it would be a rejection of God to stay with the Old Covenant. The Jewish believers weren’t sure which way to go, they lacked assurance. But because Jesus is supreme over all of these things we can know for certain that we are saved. If you want assurance in your salvation, don’t look to what you do to impress God, look to Christ and savor his supremacy over all creation. If you want assurance look to what God has already done in the world, moving kings and empires so that Christ could die for you. If he can do that, he can take your simple prayer of faith and give you abundant trust in his promise to keep you.

Secondly, knowing the supremacy of Christ will give you confidence. If I am fearful to speak the truth boldly, I have lost sight of God’s sovereignty. If I am fearful to be more generous with my time, my money, my body, or my words, it’s because I have forgotten that God holds it all together anyway.

When I know in my heart that I must speak up about something, I debate in my mind what the consequences will be. Usually staying silent wins out because worldly consequences seem like the worst that could happen. Never do I introduce into my internal debate the idea that God gave me the lips, the voice, the breath to speak what I ought. I don’t thank him for these truths and I don’t speak knowing that he also controls the moments that follow my words. If I truly believe that Jesus is greater than my fear, greater than my existence, greater than the sound waves that my voice produces, then I will speak boldly trusting that he will do whatever necessary to modify those sound waves, open any ears who hear them, and create joy in their hearts to also rejoice in the supremacy of Christ.

Finally, because Jesus is supreme over creation we can rejoice in his goodness in creation without making it our ultimate end. I wrote much of this sermon at a beautiful city park near our house. The park is on a lake with walking trails all around it, beautiful trees, a gorgeous blue sky, and in the summer animals singing God’s praises all together. It is a fantastic place to sit quietly and feel God’s glory shining all around. And while I wrote this sermon I thought about my wife who was at home waiting for me to return, thanking God that I get to enjoy the incredible pleasures of marriage with such a beautiful woman. Yes, God created her and he created the pleasures we share together and I rejoice in that. The park I was at had an art gallery with interesting pieces of art from local artists that cause me to look at them and say, “What incredible creativity God has placed into the minds of his image-bearers!”

We have such potential as image-bearers to reflect his beauty, his creative glory. There is so much in creation to be thankful for. We weren’t created to be spirit-creatures floating around in some strange ethereal existence. God created flowers, birds, and squirrels for our enjoyment of his creative glory. He created physical marriage to give us a small taste of the intimate and intense pleasures that we experience when his Spirit dwells within us. He gave us taste buds and hunger to match a thousand different flavors of foods so we can sample the infinite variety of reasons to savor Jesus. We don’t honor God when we deny physical realities believing that spiritual realities to be better. We glorify him when we enjoy the physical realities with Spirit-filled hearts of praise for the one who sovereignly created them for our joy.


And we keep ourselves from making any temporal pleasures ultimate because they all come from his hand. And we know they are tainted by sin and one day he is going to restore them to be even greater than they are now. Jesus is better than all of these things. Though we enjoy them for his glory, because He is better we hold loosely to them for the sake of knowing him, savoring him, rejoicing in his creative work and trusting him to hold our future.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Rain fell, Floods came, and Winds Blew and Beat on That House

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” (Matthew 7:24-27, ESV)

Well, here we are in the Twin Cities.  I started my new job in Minneapolis at the end of July in order to get the transition started sooner than later to avoid piling it all up at once.  We finally got an offer on our house so we decided after a couple weeks of being apart that we should move the family up as well on the first weekend of August.  This would give the family some time to establish a routine before school started.  It seemed like a good plan.

Did I say I had a good plan?  Those never seem to work out.

We planned to do all of our moving in one day.  Molly had spent a couple of weeks packing and labeling the boxes to make it easier for our moving help to get our things where they belonged.  We ordered a large U-Haul truck and had a big group of people ready to help us fill it up.  After catching our breaths, we planned to drive and hour and a half to the Cities and meet another crew awaiting us to help unload.  We certainly wouldn't get settled into the home in one day, but we hoped to have all the boxes where they belonged and get the furniture set up by evening.  It was such a good plan.

Just to be sure, I contacted our landlord to make sure everything would be ready for us.  We were told it would be ready except for a bathroom remodel being done.  "We can handle that" we thought.  We wanted to be together and we could put up with some bathroom work since we were going to end up with a nicer bathroom.

So we set about our way to have our plans more than slightly modified.

Molly had a dream the night before our move that during the move we were going to lose all of our things.  She was a bit worried that something bad was going to happen, but I assured her that we'd done a lot to prepare for this and everything would work out just fine.  I told her that I had a dream that we moved in and the place was completely remodeled and was the most gorgeous place we'd ever lived in (I didn't really expect that.  It was just to say how silly dreams can be).

The day started off with the U-Haul guy telling us they didn't have the size of truck we ordered so they would upgrade us for free to the largest truck he had; six feet longer than what I calculated was necessary.  "Oh well" I thought.  "We'll just have some extra space."

It turns out that God was taking care of us in my ignorance, because that truck was extremely efficiently organized and we still didn't have enough room for all of our things.  It was a bit embarassing how much stuff we had accumulated in only 6 years in that house.  But we were appreciative to all the help we had for their hard work.  We were still right on time and ready to head up to our new home.

The drive went well; nothing was damaged on the trip so I knew Molly's dream was wrong.  We pulled up to our new home, called our move-in help and took a deep breath to prepare for just a couple more hours of hard work before getting some good rest.

And "the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that [family]."

Walking up to the front door, my heart sank, my eyes welled up in tears, and I feared for my family.  The front yard was full of furniture from the previous tenants.  The entire house was under construction and didn't look like it would be ready for many days.  There was construction equipment in every single room; tools, materials, waste, and a crew for multiple projects; not just a bathroom.  Every sort of uncleanness decorated the house from the previous tenants' failure to learn the use of a vacuum or a wash cloth; dirt all over the floors, mouse droppings in every corner, stains all over the carpets, moldy food filling the refrigerator and cabinets, and a couple years of grease covering the kitchen counters, floors, and stove.  Because of the mess, there seemed to be quite the attraction for small rodents to the home.

I had walked in before Molly and the kids could make it up to the door.  My mind swirled with all of the assurances I made to her that it would be alright and the doubts we'd had about leaving our comfortable small-town home behind to move to the big city and live on very little.  I felt like I was punched in the gut and laughed at for being such a failure of a provider for my family.

We briefly looked around the house and determined that it would be impossible for the family to move in for a while.  And then I looked at our moving truck out front staring me in the face as I wondered what to do with everything we owned.  I quickly determined to get the family out of there, so I sent my wife and the kids away to her sister's house until I could straighten it all out; not having a clue how many days that might take.

If we hadn't already made a committment to some other friends we would have backed out of this living arrangement and found a new place to live.  I talked to the landlord who didn't seem to understand why I was so upset.  He told his maintenance folks to remodel the bathroom and get the house clean for our arrival.  He put me in contact with the project manager to work something out temporarily.

The move-in crew arrived as I sat on the front steps in complete shock.  Not knowing what to do.  Should I stay in a hotel room?  Put the truck in storage for a week?  I couldn't afford that.  Plus, we needed things that were in the truck.  It's hard to take care of three small children without their clothes, diapers, beds, soaps, etc.

I decided to head into the house and clear some space in a few of the rooms that had the least amount of work to be done.  We would ignore the work Molly did organizing and labeling every box and shove everything into these few rooms.  We'll let the crew finish their work and be back next weekend to try moving in again.  So for the next three hours, my newest best friends and I hauled in and stacked everything we owned into the mess; spending every moment at the edge of sobbing uncontrollably.

As we unloaded the truck into the front yard and into the house, people would walk by or drive up eyeballing our items and asking if they could take them.  I couldn't understand why so many people were circling our things like vultures.  My heart sank as I feared that I moved us into a neighborhood where people would be waiting for the opportunity to take whatever we took our eyes off of.  Molly's dream was coming true; we really were going to lose everything.

We finally finished unloading the truck.  I was so tired (as I planned to be at the end of the day), but there would be no rest as I had hoped.  I contacted the crew manager and pleaded with him to leave my things alone and actually protect them for my family.  "Please lock every door and close every shade to keep those vultures away from everything I own."  

His response sent me into despair, "We don't have a key.  We've just been leaving the back door unlocked to get in every day to work."

I left the house and all that I owned in that house pleading with him to figure out a way to lock the door.  My friends offered to take me in for the night.  We took the truck back to the store, I climbed into his care, and sobbed.  On the drive to somewhere restful, my new friends sat in silence for a while and then offered to take this 30 minute drive to pray for peace in the midst of chaos, for wisdom to know what to do next, for faith to trust that God will use this for good, and to avoid bitterness resulting from seeming injustice.

This was not  how it was supposed to go.  Why am I moving my family here?  What am I putting them through?  What is God's purpose in all of this?

These questions will take a while to get answered.

I managed to get to my family and stay with my sister-in-law for the week.  We talked to our landlord who was very apologetic about the entire thing.  There was some serious miscommunication which resulted in the entire event.  He offered to do everything possible to remedy the situation and to even go beyond that to make our new home a much better place to stay for the next few years.

For some reason, God decided to let Satan pour out some tribulation on our family that day.  Two weeks later, we still do not have the house to where we had hoped it would be that Saturday evening.  There is a lot of work to be done to get our things organized and set up.  But we are moving in and making it our home.

We were so blessed to make some good friends through that trial; people we will continue to see regularly who were an incredible encouragement.  One of them encouraged me saying, "Satan knows the good that is going to come from the people who live in this house and will try to prevent it from happening."  It encouraged me to be reminded that God is going to use us to do some special things.  You know you are doing some great work of God when you run into opposition once in a while.

Another new friend told me, "God must really love you guys, because He seems to give the hardest tests to those He loves most."  When God has big responsibilities planned for someone, He tends to put them through a lot to rid them of their idols and focus their hearts more on Him.

When we get through this season, I look forward to the joys He has in store for my family; the good work that He has prepared for us to do.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Wisdom for Obedience

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (James 1:5-8)

Generous Provider,

We seek to know your provision in our lives even more fully.  You have done incredible things in our family to care for us and bless us far better than what we have earned.  And far too often we haven't even acknowledged your hand in the simple meal that sits on our table.

You have been good to us and so it seems somewhat foolish of me to ask for more.  Yet all I am is a beggar with nothing that hasn't already been given by you.  What else can I do but continue to ask for you to provide?

So here I am, holding nothing in my hands that I have earned, only that which you've already blessed me with, asking you to bless me even more.

We seek to be obedient to you in our journey to seminary and whatever ministries it leads us to.  We seek to be good stewards of the money you've asked us to care for.  We want to live with your priorities in mind, giving our attention to our marriage, discipling our children, and ministering among your people.  We want you to be glorified in us as we strive to do your will in a new place.  We are excited for that adventure to begin.

But here we are waiting for you to move.  We are sure you are already moving in ways that we cannot see, so help us to trust your sovereign timing.  We believe that we have taken every step forward that we can and now just wait for you to provide.

You know the things we need and we anticipate this week an incredible answer to all of our prayers.  I've interviewed for jobs, we've shown our house, we've found houses that would be a great fit for our family and the results of those things are in your hands right now.  Please make this week an exciting step in our journey.  We know that your usually method of provision is quiet, consistent, and sufficient, but we pray for this step of faith in our lives to be marked with abundant provision and overwhelming response to our needs.

As we wait for you to reveal your work to us, give us the wisdom we lack, which you are thrilled to provide, so that we may no longer wonder in anxiety about what to do next, but we may trust in you standing on our firm foundation and boldly stepping forward in faith.

May the praise of our lips be heard all around at the revealing of your abundant provision in this moment.

Friday, May 31, 2013

So That I Will Not Boast in Myself

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord  disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:5-11, ESV)

(European Pressphoto)
 At one point in the process of moving toward Bethlehem College and Seminary, I came upon what appeared to be a dead end road; an abrupt stop in what seemed to be such a clear path to me.  It was a blow to my faith as I thought I was walking in faithful obedience for quite a while only to meet the end of the road with a steep cliff at the end; standing at the precipice in the pouring rain with no apparent new direction.  It was a gut wrenching feeling to think that everything I had worked toward and given up was wrong. How would I ever know God's leading in my life if that which was as clear to me as anything else was actually incorrect?  I spiraled quickly into the pit of despair.

 But "faithful are the wounds of a friend" who I had really only gotten to know over the phone during my interview process.  I had come to deeply respect this man's experienced perspective and he called me up to correct my prideful self-loathing.  What he told me is something that is difficult and important for me to remember every time I wonder how and why God is working.  He reminded me that God didn't do so much work in me for the last few years to leave me out to dry here and that instead of pitying myself and worrying about what God is doing, my only responsibility is to think about what I can learn through this experience and how I can become more holy through it.

 I didn't like the feeling of rejection and impotence.  I am the kind of guy who sees what needs to be done and makes it happen.  But my wise friend was sure to remind me that I am not in control and I need to learn how to let go of the reigns and trust God's work.

 As it turned out, the dead-end road was just an illusion.  The path became clearer later and looking back now, I recoil at the memory of my pathetic heart in such a moment.  But now I seem to, again, have come upon another road block in which I should be getting a little anxious about how it will work out.

 Just two months from when I need to leave, my house still hasn't sold, I have no idea where we will live, and I'm still on the lookout for that part-time job to support my family.  Last year, when we were filling out the application and weighing our financial situation, we had assumed that through various efforts we would make the move with a good amount of savings to move forward with.  And since that time, we've seen almost every one of those opportunities dwindle to the point where we will likely have less than half of what was expected. At times I feel like Gideon about to embark on a significant endeavor with God cutting out every possible resource that could be a source of personal boasting.

To this point we've been okay with that. I try to remind myself of the words of my faithful friend, that God has been preparing us for this endeavor, and instead of fretting about how it will work out I need to simply think about what I can learn in this moment and who I can minister to with what I do have today.  God will take care of tomorrow.

In our recent congregational prayer meeting (and in a John Piper blog post), I was reminded about the purpose of God's work in our lives: that He would receive great glory.  The reason He took away all of Gideon's battle resources was so He could be sure to get the credit for the victory.  The reason God answers our prayers is so that in receiving an answer we will praise Him for his provision.  The reason He sustains us through trials is to reveal Himself to be our strength in our time of weakness.

 The longer He makes me wait, the more excited I get to shout from the rooftops His amazing love and care for me.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:1-3, ESV)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Loading...Please Wait




We live in a fast culture.  We want everything and we want it right now.  Pull your car up to a window and get an entire meal for your family in less than two minutes.  We can get 100 Mbps internet in our home that allows us to download an entire high definition movie in 2 minutes.  Smart phones allow us to have instant communication with anyone in anyplace whenever we feel like it.  Entire libraries worth of information are at our fingertips as we sit at a downtown bus stop.

Because of these blessings, we have become an impatient people.  We have little time for those who might slow us down.  Driver stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire?  No time to help when we are already late for work.  Just need to stop into the store to pick up a couple things?  Delayed three minutes because a 70 year old woman has 12 items in the ten-items-or-less express lane...and she's writing a check!

It is especially frustrating to have to slow down when you've got every minute of your next two months planned out and God has a different plan.  It reveals what's in my heart when I am impatient with others throughout my day, but it really shows my lack of faith when God tells me to wait and I can't sit still and trust Him.

Right now I see a hundred things that need to get done in the next few months to get settled in to our new life in Minneapolis.  I need to find money to pay for everything.  I need to find a part-time job.  I need to find a home to live in.  I need to figure out how to get moved up there and when would be the best time.  I need to get some books, and maybe a new computer.  I need to pass a Greek exam.  There are details of each of these things that I am ready to get going on figuring out.

I've said before that I am a planner and a doer.  I see what needs to be done, formulate a plan, and work hard to achieve excellent results.  So when God tells me to wait, it is hard for me to sit still.  I feel like I am wasting time.  I feel like I'm ready to start the game, but the computer is slowly stretching that little bar across the screen saying, "Loading..."

Sometimes life is "hurry up and wait."  For one entire summer, Molly and I prepared for our adoption.  We read all the required books, took the training courses, and finished our home study in near record time.  And then we waited for two years for God to bring us our son.  We scrambled for a few weeks to get our house ready to be put on the market, and now we wait for God to bring the right buyer.  We are within days of our baby being born.  Everything is set up to be ready for her arrival; kids have a place to stay for a couple days, house ready to be shown while we are out, the bags are packed for a couple days in the hospital; and now we wait.

It's hard to wait when I see all that needs to get done, but I too easily forget that God is sovereign over every detail.  I too easily get focused on the next step that I forget to be content with where I am right now; to enjoy this very moment.  God has been so good to me up to now (obviously better than I deserve since I continually doubt His good providence), why should I question His ability to provide for all that needs to be done as we take a step of faith in order to know Him better?

These words from Jesus need to be stapled to my forehead to remind me daily that He is good and He will provide what is necessary for my obedience:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."