Just over six years ago my wife and I joined Emmanuel Baptist Church in Rochester, MN with the intention of settling into a nice small-town life, having a large handful of children, and participating in some enjoyable ministry opportunities. We had good jobs and the most beautiful first home (sorry hun that we will likely not be able to live like again that for a long time). The church was growing and we were making great new friends to share life with and raise kids together. But as has become a great theme in our lives over the past few years, God had different plans for us and it would require a little shaking to get us to realize that.
Over the course of our time at EBC, it began to be clear to us that God was preparing us for something else. He had something better in mind than a comfortable, small-town life; but he would use the people at Emmanuel to prepare us for that new life. Emmanuel Baptist Church would become more than just the people we enjoyed hanging out with, but the family that we came to love facing trials together; the people God would use to make us better suited for ministry.
The year of 2011 is a year we refer to affectionately as "the year of suck" but it was a year that God used to break us down and prepare us to be lifted back up into a new faithfulness. A year that saw physical pain, relational heartbreak, tragedy, personal anguish, and a struggling church.
It began in January with the most bizarre, unexpected event. While playing on the floor with my 2 year old daughter, I attempted to stand up from a squatting position, and instead locked my knee; shredding my right lateral meniscus in the process. It was the most pain I have ever felt and I was immediately turned into a useless lump of flesh on the floor. My wife required the most strength she had ever known to lift me up onto the couch and eventually get me to the Emergency Room. It required surgery that would put me down for three weeks, leave me on crutches for three months, and not allow me to walk in anything but a straight line for six months. I am thankful for modern medicine and doctors who were able to fix me up so I can walk again today. I realize that if the same thing happened a hundred or more years ago, I would simply walk with a significant limp with a walker or be in a wheelchair. Thankfully I can play in the yard with my children again, but not without a clicking reminder in my knee that God can change my plans at any moment.
While recovering from my knee surgery, early that Spring, my pastor called me into his office. This wasn't anything unusual. I had spent regular time in his office. Multiple times a week I would stop by the church to ask questions about a topic I was studying, a book I was reading, or a ministry idea I had. Pastor Kevin was my mentor and my friend. He invested time in me to help me become a better man, a better husband, and a better father. Kevin saw leadership potential in me and encouraged every opportunity to develop that potential into something useful in God's church. When I was showing my immaturity or weakness, he did not hesitate to rebuke me and hold me accountable to a higher standard for Christian ministry. I respected him dearly and would have gone into battle in any fight right by his side. But he chose a different path, weary of the battle he faced as a pastor and ready for something else. He called me into his office to tell me he was resigning. I was shocked. I didn't know what I would do. The man who I depended on to guide me in my next steps wouldn't be there anymore. My plan to grow under his leadership for the next few years had just been tossed aside. But God's plan was for me to step forward and be willing to lead and apply what Kevin had taught me as EBC sought a new direction.
As the year of 2011 went on, it didn't get any easier. It hadn't started out well, be we wanted to finish it well. So we doubled our efforts and ramped up our prayer. We had begun the adoption process to add a second child to our family and it seemed every month we were led close to a child and our hopes destroyed when either tragedy hit or another family was chosen. Told that the average wait for a domestic adoption is 9-12 months, by the end of 2011 we realized that it was going to take far longer than that. Each adoption rejection added to the pain we experienced that year. We begged God to turn things around for us and make the end of the year worth all of the struggles. And suddenly, a phone call confirmed that those prayers would not be answered. A good friend and brother at Emmanuel had been tragically killed in a logging accident. He was the greatest encourager we knew and his enthusiasm was infectious to our family and to the church in a time when we really needed it. It was a bittersweet time as this man who loved Jesus out loud, got to be with Him face-to-face. The church continued to struggle to find its identity without a pastor and with competing visions for the future. 2011 came and went and we were glad to see it go.
But all of that happened in God's purpose and timing. When you are in the midst of a trial, it seems like the worst possible thing that you will never escape from. Now, a couple years later, we see God's hand all over it. We see the maturity gained through patient endurance. We see the love for brothers and sisters developed through closed door passionate debate. We now are able to identify better with people who are in pain. And most of all, we see that God's plans are far better than our own. And when He says "Wait," He wants you to calm down and wait. When He says "Go," He wants you to stop debating how it will work and just go.
That is where we are today. For a couple years He taught us how to wait. During that time we fought with Him about wanting to go. But He made us wait. And now He is telling us to go. Everything up to this time has led us to Bethlehem College and Seminary to be trained for God-glorifying passionate ministry. Looking back we see His hand all over our waiting as He was orchestrating events in order to tell us to go. And now that He has said "GO!" we are arguing with Him about how it will work; how we want Him to show us the plan before we start taking steps. Thank God for loving me despite my hard heart and head.
So the purpose of this blog is to journal how God provides for us over the next few years through Seminary; to show how God is changing us through the experience and through the education. I intend to update it regularly with lessons learned right in the classroom, as well as lessons learned while applying that knowledge to ministry in Minneapolis and wherever else He takes us. Right now we don't see how we are going to pay for it all, where we are going to live, and what we will look like in the end but we know that our God is big and when He tells you to go He will provide the necessary resources to be obedient. And just as Jehoshaphat fell before the Lord ready to go, but not knowing what to do, I start this journey with my eyes on God ready for Him to show His mighty hand.
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