Delayed Gratification is a term that I've often been fond of to discern someone's level of maturity. We live in a culture that needs everything right now. Don't want to wait until married to have sex, do it now. Don't have money to pay for what I want, put it on the credit card. Can't take the time to cook a healthy meal, get fast food. Children, by definition, lacking maturity have a difficult time waiting because they don't have enough life experience in waiting to know that "good things come to those who wait." They don't know that opportunities come and go regularly and by taking time to do things right they will be better prepared for the next opportunity. Instead, in our immature passions we jump now at something and, at best, enjoy a fleeting pleasure that could have been longer lasting had we invested more patient preparation.
I was recently reminded of another stage of maturity in a child's life through reading a book on marriage and it has really got me thinking about my continual need for sanctification. In the first few months of a baby's life their world extends to about 12 inches in front of their faces. As far as they understand this world is all about themselves. When what is going on in their own bubble is uncomfortable they let everyone outside the bubble know about it until someone else comes to fix it. If you put a toy in front of an infant they will recognize its existence. But the moment they can no longer see that toy they act as though it no longer exists. This is called
Object Permanence; at about the age of eight months a child gains the ability to recognize that an object continues to exists even though they can no longer see it. A child who has yet to develop Object Permanence will have a difficult time being away from his parents when they walk away because the person that makes him feel so good (in his own mind) no longer exists. Once the child develops Object Permanence he can feel comfortable letting his parents go because he knows they still exist and experience has shown that they will come back.
Today I was reminded of an excellent book in which the author talks about the immaturity of sin as she looks back upon the sins she once defended:
“People whose lives are riddled with unrestrained sin act like rebellious children. Sin, when unrestrained, infantilizes a person. Here I had thought that I was so mature, so capable, so ‘important’ in the world, and the truth remains that I didn’t even know how to act my age! After conversion, I was surprised to discover how old I really was.”
This is the case for all of us, isn't it? When we engage in sin, when we give into temptation, when we "follow our hearts" we act as a a child who is incapable of making decisions according to the reality of the world God created. Though our eyes are wide open we act as though truth has disappeared. When men are tempted to look at pornography it is because they have lost Object Permanence; forgetting about God's provision for intimacy. When we lie, complain, or boast in ourselves it is because we have lost Object Permanence; forgetting that God is still there even though we don't see Him. What we need are not strategies for sidestepping the temptation, but mature hearts who are content to trust God's good provision when the current circumstances disrupt the comfort of our little bubbles.
"Sin infantilizes a person." God help me avoid sin and honor you by maturing my heart to be satisfied with your provision whenever you choose to give it and rest in the permanence of it even when I can't see it.
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