Unfathomable Wisdom

“The Lord possessed me [wisdom] at the beginning of his work, the first of his acts of old.

Ages ago I was set up, at the first, before the beginning of the earth.

When there were no depths I was brought forth, when there were no springs abounding with water.

Before the mountains had been shaped, before the hills, I was brought forth,

before he had made the earth with its fields, or the first of the dust of the world.

When he established the heavens, I was there; when he drew a circle on the face of the deep,

when he made firm the skies above, when he established the fountains of the deep,

when he assigned to the sea its limit, so that the waters might not transgress his command,

when he marked out the foundations of the earth, then I was beside him, like a master workman,

and I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always,

rejoicing in his inhabited world and delighting in the children of man.

(Proverbs 8:22-31, ESV)

Maybe I just have a case of the Mondays, or perhaps it's because my house continues to be a difficult sell in this supposedly sellers' market, but I'm feeling pretty crummy this morning.  Selling our house has been a major obstacle in getting to seminary.  We can't look at new homes until we know what we are getting with our old home.  It is a new home in a nice neighborhood with high quality features that most people dream they could have in their homes.  Yet, in this supposed sellers' market, the buyers are much pickier than I would have thought; not liking a certain neighbor, a bedroom in the basement, a family room too small.  And just when we think there is some hope with a new buyer, that hope is dashed and we are left wondering what to do next.

I often need to check my motives to be sure that I am not pushing for something that God has not planned for me.  Is He trying to move me in a different direction?  Why would He change my course after years of provision in this direction?

Is He telling me to lower the price even more so we have nothing but the clothes on our back to move and experience His daily bread provision in a way we never thought would be necessary?

Is He just telling us to wait a little bit longer?

Sure, it could be any (or all) of these, and each one makes me very uncomfortable.  And each one makes little sense. We need to get moving now.  We need that money from the sale to live for a few months while we find employment and a home.  We are confident that God has prepared us for and confirmed this move in many wonderful ways.  So what am I supposed to do?

I have no idea.  I'm stumped.

But one thing I need to remind myself of is God's infinite wisdom in it all.  We studied this section of Proverbs yesterday in Sunday School and it hit me pretty hard.  God's infinite wisdom was part of His character before the foundation of the world.  It was part of establishing all things and continues to sustain and create all things.  Daily, His providence is filled with wisdom; greater wisdom than I can comprehend.

So when I say that we are running out of time or money, His wisdom says He's got it all planned out.  In God's economy, there is no end to His time or money.  When waiting longer or moving forward with nothing doesn't make any sense in my mind, His wisdom requires me to trust Him.

Easy for my head to say to my heart, but even as I remind myself of these truths, it is hard for my unbelieving heart to understand and I limp along through the day with saturated eyes and a swirling mind.  This is my regular prayer these days, "God, help my unbelief!"